I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
