let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
You took a bar mat shot.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
