I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Randomize
