Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
