You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Randomize
