in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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