I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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