remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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