FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
