I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
How naked do you want me to be?
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