Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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