I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't make out with my wife yet
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize