there was a trapeze. enough said
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
