Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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