I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize