Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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