Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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