saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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