omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
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