now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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