how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
