It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
