So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My cat gives me a boner
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
