somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
