You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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