he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Mom said you looked used
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize