Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Im part way to drunk.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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