In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ladies don't puke and tell
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