I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
