so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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