help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Randomize
