didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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