Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
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