i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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