just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
