I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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