umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I won't apologize to a one balled man
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize