Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
nutella sex= disaster
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize