It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just pee around me
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
