oh god the rape fog is back!
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
