i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You have to summon your inner elephant
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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