I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
