Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
