I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
