I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
