anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
