Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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