so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
