I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
