you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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