I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i now understand why vodka
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
