so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
