sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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