put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
