Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
